Time to be brave! Going to tell you my secret. (shhh I’m terrified!)

Meditation and Energy Work Hawaii
Marie Forleo’s B-School is coming up. This is an 8 week business training program that I have wanted to attend for some time. But I have been putting it off with various excuses: I’m not ready, I don’t have time, I can’t afford it, I don’t even know what I want to do with my life!  While those are all true in their own right, the bottom line is: I’m scared.  I’m scared of lots of things!  Scared to fail, scared to put myself out there, scared to spread myself too thin and collapse: scared, scared, scared!
I’m going to tell you something that I stopped telling anyone when I was a young girl.  As long as I can remember I have had this knowing.   This undeniable unarguable knowing that I was going to do or be something big.  That I was destined for something.  I never knew what it was, but as a kid I never worried, the knowing was so strong I never doubted it, or questioned it, or needed to understand it.  I knew I didn’t have to plan it or get it.  It just WAS.  I thought  that “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was such a silly question because I had the knowing.  But people didn’t seem to understand when I would say that ~ and some reacted poorly.  So eventually I stopped saying it.
Along with growing older came learning self doubt and some failures along the way.  I started to doubt the knowing, to question it.  What was it?  Was I crazy?  Was I making it up?  Was I just trying to feel special?  Why wasn’t it coming?  But the knowing held steady, it never changed or went away.  Sometimes I tried to ignore it, I got mad at it, I stuffed it down.  But when I looked it was still there, as strong as ever.  It never pushed me or pulled me or asked anything of me.  It just WAS.
Well, I finally hit some little milestone the other day.  I decided to apply for Marie’s B-School scholarship.  I said to myself  “It’s time to stop hiding this, to stop denying it, to stop playing safe”.  I was exhilarated and terrified.
Two days later Marie released a video about her B-School.  As I was watching it and taking notes she began to talk about how “You have a greatness, a destiny and haven’t you always know that since you were a kid?”  Holy shit I thought, she is talking to me!  Then I thought, no she is talking to Us, that means there are more people who feel this!!  I was dumbfounded. Apparently when you talk about your knowing in elementary school it’s frowned upon, but in Marie’s B-School you’re not a freak you’re: one of the group!  Okay, now I REALLY know I belong in this program!
So, I am at home working on my scholarship video! I have two days to do it including teaching myself how to edit the video!  I’m finishing it up as I type this and it will be posted below.  Fair warning: it’s homemade!  And you can probably hear my head-cold in my voice.   But here it is, it all it’s vulnerable authenticity!  GULP!
http://youtu.be/BA8XYpAL4VA
Here’s to all of us and our greatness!  Here’s to being brave enough to step into that light even for a second!  Here’s to believing every little kid when they tell us they have a greatness or a knowing!  
I love you,
Cara
u.be/BA8XYpAL4VA